Caryn: So, yeah, um, today’s the day my book, my beloved, long-labored-over, God-only-knows-how-I-pulled-it-off book, Mama’s Got a Fake I.D.: How to Reveal the Real You Behind All That Mom, officially drops, “hits the shelves,” and is available “at bookstores everywhere,” as they say.
So of course, this is a huge day for me. Full of parties, celebrations, and just general non-stop lavinshing of attention on me, honoring me on this great day.
Okay so many the “party” and celebration is more me making crispy chicken for my sick daughter who’s been screaming at me that she needs “food with medicine” in it (any idea what she means here?). And the lavishing of attention is more of that same screaming, the constant “Mama! Mama!” from my two-year-old, and that my dad offered to grab some milk for me when he’s out at Costco (that’s nice, huh?).
And the honoring? Okay, so it’s that after asking my son and daughter if they could PLEASE be quiet for just a minute so I could come back here and type this, they did. That looks like honor to me.
All this to say: In case any one has any illusions that my Mama’s Got a Fake I.D. comes from the heart, mind, and soul of anyone other than a real, down and dirty, worn and wooly mom, think again, my friends.
But still, it’s a huge day because I’m totally excited about this book. Since I’m a believer in the writing advice that says “write what you want to read,” with this book, I wrote what I wanted to read. What I needed to read, actually. The whole thing was born out of my crazy messed up identity and trying to figure out who I was or was “supposed to be” once I became a mom. A mom who loved her kids like nuts but who wasn’t so naturally good at a lot of the “supposed to” mom stuff.
So, like all the rest of us who go through this, I wrestled with guilt for not feeling “happy” with only having a slapped on mom identity and I felt downright lonely because I didn’t think who I really was fit in anywhere. Turns out, most of us actually feel this way, but who knew?
So, anyway, that’s a bit about my book. I really hope you all read it. And let me know what you think!
Carla, anything nice you’d like to say about my book? (Please remember how many NICE THINGS I said about your book, The Myth of the Perfect Mother, within the very pages of my book…..)
Oh, and then we’ll be giving away a copy or two of this baby to some of our Revolutionaries. Some commenters we choose at random.
Carla: I am very happy for you Caryn, and if I could buy you a Shamrock Shake today or hang out with your kids while you went out to buy one for yourself, I would.
Caryn’s book hits on one of the core beliefs of the Mommy Revolution–that being moms is not the sum total of who we are or who we are meant to be. As we’ve said before, that belief doesn’t diminish the goodness that is motherhood, but rather to gives us permission to be who God made us to be–inside and outside of the context of family life.
What I love about Caryn’s take on this issue is that she never tells us to expand ourselves so that we can better serve our families. You know how a lot of “mom” advice tells us to take time for ourselves or to find hobbies or explore our interests outside the home? Well so often, that advice is couched in “do it so you can be a better mom” language. It’s as though the only reason to do anything that takes us away from our kids is to gain something we can then bring back to our kids. That’s a fine fringe benefit of expanding ourselves, but really, that kind of thinking just contribute to the mythology that mothering is the only valid venue for practicing our gifts and living out our passions. It totally dismisses the idea that God can and does have lots and lots of ways for us to use the lives we’ve been given and that God is big enough to equip us for all of them.
So tell us Revolutionaries, what are some pieces of you that have gotten buried by motherhood, the ones you miss and wonder if they are still there? How have you taken steps to either reclaim them or say goodbye and move on?
Caryn: And don’t forget: We’ve got freebie books for some lucky Commenting Revolutionaries….