The Days of Our Lives

Caryn: So I was just sitting here reflecting—admiring, really, if you must know—the things I did today. Allow me to share: I got my son off to school, took my daughter to her weekly morning church program. Sat in the coffee shop and worked on a chapter for my next book. Went to a “worship planning” meeting at church (I brought what my pastor called “a whole lotta nada” to the meeting, but still….). Listened to a draft of a song to which I WROTE the lyrics (well, me and Habakkuk). Then back home to get daughter ready for kindergarden. (A friend took her home from her morning thing.)

Then I took her to school. Went with my three-year-old to my mom’s house to walk her dog for her. Then, I headed out to Wheaton to drop off some freelance work, scooted over to Christianity Today International (of “Caryn and Carla used to work there” fame) to pick up something for my conference this weekend. Then I went to Culvers for a snack pack. (Walleye is back! Just FYI.)

Then I came home, edited a blog post and got the kids from the bus. Then I talked to a woman from a church where I’m speaking in a week. Then I “cooked” dinner and headed off to a marketing committee meeting for my kids school, where basically, we make all sorts of plans to rule the world. Came home, got last the kid to bed and sat down to check Facebook and reflect on my day.

Which brings me to here: I realized that today I think I did at least a small amount of work on every random thing I’m involved in. Every part of my life somehow meshed together (except, I realized, the Mommy Revolution, which is why I’m now writing this). This never happens. But I’m so glad it did.

While I’m sure I just bored you to tears with the recount of my day, I have to say, it’s been one of my favorite days in a long time—because it contained all the things I love to do. And it involved some of my favorite people. And I just wanted to document this—maybe even celebrate it. Because I’m sure tomorrow will be filled with all sorts of horrors and me pulling out my hair wondering when I am ever going to catch a break and get to do what I love.

Well, today I got a huge break. I did what I love to do today. Feels really good. So I wanted you to know. How was your day, Carla?

Carla: meh.

I, too, love those days when I feel like it was worth waking up, days when I used my brain and my creative juices and my muscles and my heart. I love feeling engaged with my life. But I haven’t had one of those in a long time and I could use a few.

So it’s funny that you mention this because the lack of those days has been weighing on me of late. The hubs and I had a big “discussion” about this last week. Since he is often the only adult I talk to in a given day, he gets all of my rantings and ramblings and stunted efforts at complex thinking. And sometimes he has the energy to engage in all of that and sometimes he doesn’t. Anyway, I have been frustrated that I can’t seem to find the time or the energy or the mojo to get engaged. I feel like I’m drifting through my days and I don’t like it.

So how do I get there? (psst Caryn, I’m asking for real. Tell me what to do.)

On the bright side, I have started a teaching gig that I LOVE but that is also a lot of work and taking up both too little and too much of my life. As with most things, if it was all I had to do, it would be fantastic.

Caryn: Carla, I have no idea. I’m in major drift mode most of the time—hence my delight when a day really cranks. Of course, I wrote that yesterday and indeed today was gross. Not horrible. But not filled with anything I like.

But I wonder if any of the other Revolutionaries have ideas on how to stop drifting through days and crank? Or, do some of you like drifting?


11 responses to this post.

  1. I hate drifting. Hateithateithateit. Like that much. I look at some of my friends, those in the category of “I can take life as it comes” and I think, I could use some of that.

    So drifting days are the very worst kind. Today was one. Rain. Preschool Cancelled. Home all day. Stir-crazy kids (and momma). Wanting it to be bedtime at 11:42AM. That is Baaad. But then a little thought poked up it’s little happy head, and it said: God is still shaping your character through this gig.

    Huh. I was kind of ready to move on, move up, starting getting some character shaping somewhere else. But my little happy thought (i.e. Holy Spirit) is totally right. I still have a lot of shaping left.

    Maybe tomorrow will be better!


  2. Posted by Carla on March 4, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    Caryn, I’ve been thinking more about this post and I want to make sure that in my own drift I don’t discount the goodness that was your day.

    It’s so tempting to make this blog a whine-fest but we want to celebrate those moments–and there are so many of them–when life is humming along and everything is working. I know my life will swing back that way soon enough.


  3. So when I was writing Mama’s Got a Fake I.D., I came across a little ditty about how the bored housewives of the 1950s were responsible for bringing meth mainstream. It always seemed so dumb to me until I took this Mucinex stuff to unclog my nose earlier today. I’ve been moving at 100 miles per hour ever since, and figuring out why I had to show ID to buy it.

    Let’s just say you don’t drift when on Muci….. but don’t take it. I think it’s probably evil.


  4. Posted by Carla on March 4, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    I’m getting some tomorrow.


  5. Posted by jennyraearmstrong on March 5, 2010 at 5:10 am

    I tend to drift quite happily DURING the day, but then I get disgusted with myself by the end for not accomplishing all the things I wanted to accomplish. I love those days when I feel like I am making progress in all the different areas of my life (instead of slipping slowly and steadily behind), but I think that being either a SAHM or self-employed (or both!) makes it worse. Some people are really good at imposing structure on themselves and others–some are not. And ironically, it’s often those of us who aren’t big into creating structure who distance ourselves from situations that would provide it.

    Mucinex? Really???


  6. Seriously. Mucinex IS the devil. Yesterday was all productivity and then I crashed at 10:10 dead asleep. Totally woke up at 2:20 WIDE AWAKE. Stayed awake for 2 hours. All I could think was Elvis—taking his “uppers” (Muci) to stay awake and then the “downers” for sleep. (I haven’t actually heard or seen those words used since 8th grade anti-drug assemblies…..)

    But yeah. The Mucinex-D is the one I bought to relieve my stuffy nose. My neighbor told me it made her heart race so fast it almost killed her. Great.

    P.S. So right about those us us who aren’t good at structure running from it…. Good pt.


  7. So, funny medicine story. About a week after my youngest was born, I got this RAGING bout of mastitis. The antibiotics my doctor prescribed had to be taken on an empty stomach (easier said then done while nursing!), so I figured I’d be smart and take them after the night-time feedings, so I didn’t have to worry about skipping meals during the day.

    So I stumbled to the medicine cabinet after the 11 o’clock feeding, popped a pill in my mouth, and went back to bed. But I couldn’t fall asleep. Eventually, I noticed that all the colors in the dark room looked especially vivid–kind of shimmery.

    After a couple hours of no sleep, I went back to the medicine cabinet and counted pills. Turns out, I had mistakenly taken one of my son’s Adderall tablets!

    I didn’t sleep a wink for 24 hours. The baby didn’t sleep much either. 😛

    Sorry, just had to share–not everyone can appreciate that story, LOL!


  8. Have you seen Kathleen Norris’s new book Acedia & Me? I think it is an excellent reflection on the spiritual aspects of driftiness. Which I really like as a new word. Driftiness. Nice ring to it.

    In my own life, trying to balance the ministry that makes me happy with the job that pays my bills can wear me out. Not just the workload, but the effort to switch gears is hard. When you add in laundry and parenting, etc. I think all the energy I have is exhausted getting the urgent stuff done and so I just drift through whatever time is left that might have been used getting the important (to me anyway) things done. And there’s not a lot of joy in that.

    But this last week I got to really concentrate on my ministry and it was awesome. Lots of writing, lots of connecting with people, and a sense of fulfilling my purpose. Those days are great.


  9. Hi, Caryn. I just saw your post on Her.meneutics and followed the links here. You’re quite involved in life’s processes, I see. I sure enjoyed writing for you back when you were at Marriage Partnership. So glad to see you’re a fruitful, busy mom. Always lots to discover, about our broken selves and God’s grace and, apparently, even Mucinex. I will keep your info under advisement. Take care!


  10. Hi Caryn and Carla, I just stumbled across your blog recently, and am enjoying reading through all your old posts. I know I’m quite late to the comment party, but I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this post…how honest both of you are, and well you can articulate your thoughts and feelings. I also found the comment stream about meds insightful…the temptation to medicate, whether to numb or to get energy, is so powerful during this life stage. It reminded me of an early storyline from Desperate Housewives, where one of the moms gets addicted to her son’s ADD meds. The story arc ends with a powerful scene, that I’ve thought about often. The heart of the scene resonates what (it seems like) y’all are hoping to accomplish with this blog, so I thought I’d link to it for you to enjoy. God bless you!


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