Honoring Moms, Not Motherhood

Carla: We’re still here! More on where we’ve been and where we’re going in a minute. But first, check out Caryn’s fantastic post on Mother’s Day at her.menuetics.com. I hope she remembers us when she’s on Oprah.

Anyway, we are sorry for our long absence from the Interwebs. After a long season of work-less-ness, projects have been coming my way. I’m grateful to be sure, but it clearly didn’t take long for me to lose the ability to manage my work/life balance. Since I wasn’t all that successful at it in the first place, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

But in the midst of this, Caryn and I have been talking about where we want to take the Mommy Revolution from here. While we have lots of ideas, our favorite is still the e-zine idea we had last fall. But we can’t pull it off alone. So we are asking you to start thinking–and writing–about your own revolutionary ideas. We want to include your voices, to make this a true conversation between friends with different ideas and experiences. So if you’re interested in writing about motherhood, womanhood, childlessness, your job, sex, laundry, healthcare, marriage, or anything else you think would interest our readers head to our “Contact Us” section and shoot us a message. We’ll tell you how to post something and you can have at it!

And please keep in mind that we can’t pay you in anything but love, affection, and admiration.

This really is the spirit of Caryn’s Mother’s Day essay–to honor who we are as people with all kinds of maternal and non-maternal ideas and passions and gifts.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

Caryn: Seriously. I’ve missed it here. And am antsy to get this e-zine-ish thing happening. We need it. I also have a new post half-written about me as a bad, bad mom. Look for that soon.

Let us know who wants to write what. And maybe just go ahead and email ideas to mommyrev@gmail.com.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Danielle P. on May 9, 2010 at 10:30 am

    I’m writing this on Mother’s Day, and after having just yelled at the kids that “Mommy’s not feeling very patient and needs a five minute break from you!” at the top of my lungs while holding my fingers in my ears. Oh, well. It is what it is.

    This thought keeps rolling around in my head and I wanted to get it out, in the hope that the expression of these things is cathartic and expressive enough that I actually CAN go back to my mommying with a clearer mind and more compassionate heart. And towards not just the kids, but towards myself.

    My four year-old was in bed with me this morning, after she had awakened me and said the obligatory but appreciated, “Happy Mother’s Day!” And with her in my arms I almost literally fell into her dreamy eyes and said, “Ella, did you know that I wasn’t a mama for more than twenty YEARS of my life? And then, four years ago I had YOU and I was one. And it is my favorite thing in the world.” (Sappy – maybe, but true nevertheless.) So I went on from there this morning, leaping at the surprise “Let’s go out for breakfast” from my husband (and mostly at the idea of starting the day without dishes), and thinking about how completely true that statement actually was, and another thought occurred to me. Like most women probably do, I divide my life into two distinct parts: “before kids” and “after,” but more to the point, into “the old ‘me'” and the “‘me’ as I chose it.” I really do feel like I didn’t get my act together until I became a mother, that I didn’t fully understand – or care to understand – what made the world go ’round or HOW TO LIVE until I had learned to care for my children. I look back and see a lot of wasted time, wasted energy, and wasted potential. I often think that if I could be the person I am now, only back then… well, there’s no telling the kind of life I’d have or the things I could have done.

    I DON’T think that this is an uncommon feeling, the “if I’d known then what I know now” stuff that regrets are full of. My point isn’t that I feel regret really, but that for as true as it is that I am only the more full and complete person that I am now because of the kids, I also – ironically – am desperate to hold onto some bit of me that is bigger than them. I am not ONLY a mother, but being one is in everything I do.

    Happy Mother’s Day, friends. For better or worse, it’s in the core of who we are.


  2. Posted by amberrobinson1 on June 21, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    I love how you included all of those who “mother” and heal the world in many different ways. Great post!


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