The Mom-Heart Connection

Caryn: So a couple weeks back, I became That Mom. You know, the one who gets screamed at by another mom because she did something horrible and irresponsible and caused a huge commotion? That one. That was me. I’m still reeling from what transpired. Here’s the story:

Our dog hates other dogs—or most other dogs. And our dog escaped the back yard by slipping past my son who was closing the gate and she ran down the driveway. My son caught her, but she ended up seeing another dog across the street and slipped out of her collar and went after the other dog. A dog that was being walked by a nice couple and their two preschoolers tucked into a jogging stroller.

We discovered this all happening when the entire neighborhood erupted into screams. So, my husband and I busted out of the house (yes, we were inside while the kids played outside) and dashed across the street. Rafi tried to grab our bitch by her scruff and I somehow remembered learning once that to break up a dog fight, you grab a dog by its two back legs and pull. I did that and it worked.

My husband took our dog back to the house while the other mom screamed at me: “Why would you have your dog out without a leash?” “Why would you let it be out there with the kids?” All these sorts of things flying my way.

I stood there and kept saying “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” And tried explaining that the dog escaped, etc. But she didn’t care. It was terrifying. Her kids were scared. Her dog was potentially hurt (she wasn’t thank God. My dog apparently just likes really rough play). And I got why she was screaming at me. I would’ve been screaming at her had the tables been turned.

After she finished screaming, I did something weird: I hugged her. It was either that or ask her if we could pray and I thought hugging was the least weird. She hugged back and I could feel her heart racing against my chest. I’m sure she could feel mine too.

It turned into an actual sweet moment shared between two moms. It was like—at least from my perspective–our hearts beat together, almost understood each other.

Maybe that’s too dramatic, but after the hug and after my husband went out to help find their dog (who had run away, of course), and after we paid for them to take their dog to the vet to make sure he was okay (totally fine, just shaken) and after I wrote a big apology note and sent flowers, we’ve now had a couple of nice email exchanges.

We’re not friends now or anything, but I like what’s transpired—we both related to each other as mothers—understanding each others’ mom hearts and we’ve come to a place of peace out of chaos.

Anyway, it sort of gave me hope for the future of the world—if we put moms in charge and all try to solve problems from our mom hearts. Maybe some day we’ll find it, the Mom-Heart Connection? The lovers, the dreamers, and me…. So to speak. Whatcha think? Ever had this weird connection?

4 responses to this post.

  1. Hmmm.. funny- a few months ago I had a neighbors dog attack (and seriously harm) my beagle.. their response was the opposite of yours…

    I’d have been touched. You rock.

    PS interestingly this morning- I apologized for something stupid I said last week to a neighbor… ( a very hard to get along with neighbor) I thought she’d pass out.

    Really– living from the mom-heart tethered to grace.. makes all the difference… I’m with you- let’s change the world!


  2. Posted by Ron on June 10, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    You talk about a blog post that didn’t go the direction I expected. This one threw me a curve and boy am I glad. Although I would have enjoyed reading about the “let’s pray” option, I agree with you that the hug was the way to go. And it took guts. Kudos, Caryn.


  3. I LOVE this story. Thanks so much for sharing it. I’m not sure how I would have reacted in her situation. Honestly, I probably would have taken it out on your dog (totally wrong), or talked VERY loudly about you as we rushed away ( a little passive agressive, I know). I’m actually proud of both of you Mamas. 🙂 It takes guts to stand up to something awful in the midst of it happening like that, and guts to confront the one you think you’ve hurt by it. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this story.


  4. I really threw my dog under the bus here…. I’ll have to write another post about the dogs she just met and befriended at a fundraiser for the shelter from whence she came. She’s the sweetest thing on the planet. To people.

    And Laura: I’ve totally had this happen a zillion times: where the random dog comes charging at my dog. I’m VERY judgmental and mean about people who don’t keep their dogs on leashes. But, of course, I’m not judgmental at all about people who keep their kids on them. Right, Laura? : )


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