About The Revolution

 

The Mommy Revolution is our way of giving voice to something we see in our lives and the lives of so many women we know: the belief that we can be great moms without losing sight of who we are as people. From where we stand, the conversations and categories that used to define the boundaries of motherhood are no longer relevant. Instead, today’s mothers are comfortable forging lives that defy categories. We piece together work that fits our gifts and our families. We expect and encourage the participation of our children’s fathers. We trust our instincts—along with our faith, worldview, and brains!–to figure out what’s best for our kids. We crave connections with people who’s lives are different from ours. We want our children to become whoever they were created to become and have no desire to shape them according to someone else’s mold. We struggle and triumph, sometimes in the same five minute stretch.

We have been friends for nearly 10 years and we have spent most of those years laughing. We have been always hoped for the chance to collaborate on a project and nothing excites us more than the Mommy Revolution. We hope you’ll join this revolution and help us be the voice of a new kind of motherhood. Chime in, contribute, disagree, inspire each other. We can’t wait to hear what you have to say.

The Revolutionary Manifesto:

We believe that:

  • Both mothers and children should thrive in the parent/child relationship.
  • A women doesn’t stop having dreams when she starts raising children.
  • Women need emotional support from other women.
  • Mothers can do anything we want to, but we don’t have to do everything well.
  • There is something good to found even in the most difficult parenting stage.
  • Motherhood is not as all-important as we think it is. We are one of the many factors that shape our children. We need to be the best moms we can be while recognizing that we are not the center of the universe.
  • Parenting is collaborative, not competitive. None of us can—or should—do it alone.
  • Life is not all about you, but it’s not all about your kids, either.
  • Only mothers get to define what our motherhood looks like.
  • Motherhood changes who we are, but it doesn’t define who we are.
  • There is more than one way to parent well.
  • Motherhood is just part of a whole and integrated life.
  • A good mom provides food, shelter, clothing, love, support, encouragement, and all the honesty, wisdom and kindness she can. Everything else—rides the to mall, attendance at soccer games, participation in endless rounds of Pretty Pretty Princess—is gravy.

We want to create a culture of motherhood in which:

  • Women make decisions that feel right for us and our families.
  • Good fathers are part of the parenting equation. That means they get credit for the work they do and the unique presence they have in the lives of our children. It means we stop believing they can’t parent as well as we can. Being revolutionary moms means making room for revolutionary dads. 
  • Women support each other instead of critique each other.
  • The fact that we have children doesn’t lead to assumptions about we are or what we do.
  • Our decisions are driven by the emotional and physical well-being of every member of the family–not just the kids and not just the parents.
  • Our children are one of the many gifts we give to the world.
  • It’s okay to miss the way we lived before we had children.
  • Women are encouraged to figure out what we are passionate about and supported by our families and friends as we live out those passions.

 

 

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17 responses to this post.

  1. Caryn & Carla
    Can’t wait to track with this blog. !Viva la revolucion!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Cindy Cronk on September 5, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    Good for you! I can’t wait to follow this blog.

    Reply

  3. Have you two noticed how much Sarah Palin sounds like Carla’s aunt, or maybe like Frances McDormand on Fargo? Last week, when Charles Gibson was interviewing her (Sarah, not Carla’s aunt), she kept saying “Charlie” with a chirpy lilt that made me expect her to add “you betcha” at any moment.

    Also, did you see Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin Saturday night on Saturday Night Live? It was so good it was eerie.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Chris on January 3, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Hi..

    This might be a bit strange, but my wife and I just found out she is pregnant. We are trying to find some good parenting books. I’ve read Carla’s part in ‘The Emergent Manifesto of Hope’ and her recent blogs on beliefnet. Just thought you might have some good suggestions.

    Reply

  5. Hey Chris: Check out this book. Carla wrote it and I edited it—something rare and random.

    http://www.amazon.com/Shaping-Your-Familys-Future-Expectant/dp/0972707743

    Its called Shaping Your Family’s Future. It’s TOTALLY for expectant parents. My other faves are Carla’s other book, The Myth of the Perfect Mother, and Anne Lamatt’s Operating Instructions. Neither tell you HOW to parent, but are great none the less (is that one word?).

    Reply

  6. Posted by Chris on January 4, 2009 at 10:21 am

    Thanks for the suggestions I was able to get both of Carla’s books.

    Reply

  7. I read about your blog in Today’s Christian Woman. You raise some wonderful questions about the realities of motherhood. As moms who know Jesus, I am so excited about the impact we can have on moms who may not have a relationship with Him yet. I look forward to reading what you have to say in the future.

    Keep up with me at http://www.faithmomifesto.com/

    Reply

  8. I love the principles in your Manifesto and can’t wait to read more. In my quest to create a place for thinking women to discuss issues that include, but go beyond, the typical “mommy” expectations, I created BeyondJustMom.
    You’ve created a great community here too.
    Can’t wait to jump in.

    Reply

  9. […] Revolutionary Manifesto gives a good summary of where they are coming from. This entry was written by val, posted on […]

    Reply

  10. […] Carla Barnhill speaks of the church’s pressure on mothers in The Myth of the Perfect Mother.  I’ve been ruminating (one of my new favorite weird words) on her message.  Some of it hit home for me and some seemed a little far-fetched.  As soon as I process my thoughts, I’ll write more.  If you’re interested, join Carla and her friend Caryn’s thought-provoking conversations at The Mommy Revolution.  […]

    Reply

  11. Posted by Angie on February 11, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    At our churche’s womans retreat last weekend a very wise woman spoke about her experience of her first child graduating from high school and finding out she was pregnant at the same time, she was morning the fact that she could not be there for her oldest in the ways she had expected. God spoke to her and told her that while she could never be enough for her oldest, she did not need to try, that was His job. Jesus is enough for our children.

    This grace covers all of my shortcomings as a mother, person, friend, wife, etc… I can never be enough, that is Why God sent Jesus, only He can be enough. Let’s rest in that promise, and learn to let go. It is not our job to be everything for our children, that is His.

    Reply

  12. Posted by Lori on April 28, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    “Motherhood is not as all-important as we think it is. We are one of the many factors that shape our children.”

    That might just be one of the most freeing things I have ever read. I don’t have to be all things. Just some things.

    Reply

  13. Just found your blog and LOVE the collaborative spirit, the sense of moms being real people rather than cookie cutter women who do it all in the same way. Seeing moms neither in competition with each other, nor in battle with their husbands – and living life with a sense of cooperation is refreshing. The life you’ve written about is one that’s rich and full, that sets up everyone around us for a win – so I’m excited to have found you online!

    Reply

  14. Posted by Jenni on November 9, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    I am a tired, worn out mom of 4 who wants to live differently. I found an article with the two of you in Today’s Christian Woman (I think) when I was at the pediatrician’s office this morning. I love your realness, frankness, etc. I love the first point that “Both mothers and children should thrive in the parent/child relationship.” I find that so many moms, at least me, are not thriving in that relationship. I want to thrive and in return I think my kids will thrive more too. So, thanks for your honesty in sharing the tough parts of mothering. Too many women do not encourage one another, but instead compete. So many good points here. I’m looking forward to following your blog. Thanks so much!!

    Jenni
    Mama to Joshua (8), Julia (5), and Joanna and Jayne Isabella (3 year old twins)

    Reply

  15. Im having a little problem. I cant get my reader to pickup your feed, Im using yahoo reader by the way.

    Reply

  16. […] note to the Mommy Revolutionaries who might stumble upon this site. Caryn and I are still dear friends and we still believe all of […]

    Reply

  17. Wow! I’ve just come across your blog…amazing! I love the way you’ve championed women as people; individuals as well as wives and mothers. Thanks for the great read.

    Ella x

    Reply

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